Placing a Child for Adoption | A Birth Mother’s Story

Should you place a child for adoption? Placing a child for adoption is a difficult decision—one that requires a lot of strength, prayer, and heart. In this exclusive interview, Tamra, a birth mother and adoption advocate, shares the story of her decision to place her son for adoption. Please click below to hear her heart-warming story.

 

Should someone place a child for adoption? Tamra, a birth mother and adoption advocate, shares the beautiful story of her decision to place her son for adoption. Placing a child for adoption.

About the author

Seth Adam Smith

Seth Adam Smith is a best-selling, award-winning author and blogger whose writings have been translated into over thirty languages and featured on Huffington Post, Good Morning America, Fox News, CNN, the Today Show, and many other news outlets around the world.

A survivor of a suicide attempt in 2006, Seth is an advocate for resources and understanding concerning depression and suicide prevention and regularly writes about these topics in his books and on his blog. He recently finished "Rip Van Winkle and the Pumpkin Lantern," and is currently working on a series of historical novels set in Colonial America.

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35 Comments

  • Thank you so much…I love your testimony….and I love what you did for that couple. We are dealing with infertility, and my best friend is as well….I just wish there were more beautiful people like you 🙂 Thank you Thank you…..Thank you 🙂

  • What an amazing story you shared. I am also a birthmother. I was truly touched by your story as I felt very similar to you when I was “considering” options at the age of 15. You put it so well when you said I didn’t choose his family, I found them. I, too felt an impression(my adoption was closed, and I still got to pick his family) that there was no other place he should be then with his family that I had found. I can’t explain why I know that, that is where is was suppose to be, it just is. Also, the sharing him…I too feel that my “Joey” saved my life! I am eternally grateful to be a birthmother and forever humbled at my experience of adoption!!!

    -Heather <3

  • I am a birthmother too. You’re right it is such a humbling and spiritual experience to go through. I can relate so much to your story. It was a life changing event for me too — a “rescue mission.” It was the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. But also a growing experience for me. I was able to meet my son 37 years after placing him for adoption (which was just last year). It was a joyful reunion! I was also able to meet his parents a few weeks after that. I am so happy to know that he had a happy upbringing — with a wonderful family. I didn’t have the option of “choosing” or “finding” my son’s family. But I feel that he was where he needed to be. It is so reassuring to get the confirmation all these years later.

  • I am adopted, my parents went to pick me up from LDS social services when I was 6 days old. For as long as I can remember I have known I was adopted and my parents always talked about my birth mother like she was an angel. It was a closed adoption so they never met, but like Tamara my birth mom wanted to keep me so badly, but she didn’t want me to just have enough, she wanted me to have everything so she contacted LDS social services and went through the adoptive parent files and picked out my family. I am in awe of women like my birth mother and Tamara who put their children’s needs before their wants. That is the true definition of a mother and I feel blessed to have been in that amazing woman’s life for the brief time
    I was.

    • Hannah,
      What a wise girl/woman you are!!! I too placed my son through LDS social services and pray (although) I strongly believe, that my birthsons parents have raised him with my love of not wanting him to have just enough with me. I hope someday you will possibly choose to find your BirthMom. I know that I am available for my Birthson, and I want him to choose to find me in his own time. Your Heavenly Father loves you Hannah and I’m grateful you posted.
      -Heather

    • Hannah, I don’t know how old you are, but you speak like a woman with a lot of maturity. Thank you so much for sharing your story. As a birth mother, it is my greatest fear that my son that I placed for adoption 11 years ago ever doubts the unconditional love that I have for him, and that I placed him with nothing less than eternal love. I am also grateful to your parents for raising you with the knowledge that your birth mother loves you and only wanted the best for you. I hope you always feel grateful that you have not one, but 2 mothers who love you dearly.

  • We adopted a newborn baby boy 3 years ago and I will forever be grateful to his birthmother for her sacrifice and love that she had for her baby. Thank you for sharing your story.

  • I am a grandmother of an adopted child, and I thank and bless his birth mother everyday for bringing such joy to my life. Amazing example of sacrific and love. Truly a selfless act. Thank you for sharing your story

  • Oh my goodness this is almost as if you are talking about my experience. I can’t believe how similar our situations are. I placed my son for adoption almost 14 years ago and had the same experience, same feelings, same love, etc. It made me cry when you talked about your sons parents. I had the same situation! Adoption is truly wonderful and you expressed this love so well. Thank you for sharing your experience!

  • Wow Tamra’s story is profound and beautifully depicts the loss of a birth mother but the balance found in giving. She was able to embrace the sweet. Her story further makes me a proponent of open adoption. What a joy to see and know the family that will raise your child. It took me 40 years to find the sweet in my story and it didn’t happen until I laid down the words in my memoir. Sunlight On My Shadow. See it here. http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rLTe10ZmhhU

    • Wow, Judy, I watched the youtube link! God bless you! It is beautiful and I think the title is so inspired! So happy for you to finally find the sweet in your story. When my Brother-in-law was adopted in 1972 my husband’s family prayed everyday for the birthmother and for her sacrifice! Same thing with my 2 neice’s that were adopted in the 1990’s! We prayed everyday for the birthmoms! I wish you so much happiness and success!

  • My husband is adopted; not only was he such a blessing and gift to his parents, but now an eternal gift to ME. I am NOT an easy woman to be married to and he takes it all in stride. I’m thankful for the decision his birthmother made every morning as I wake up next to him. Every time I look into one of our 5 children’s faces, that look *exactly* like their dad, I am again grateful for her decision. That life changing decision effects generations; blessings extend to SO many more people than just the parents. His was in the 70s and closed, but someday in the eternities his birthmother is going to get the biggest hug ever, and thank you from his parents, wife and children.

  • Tamra thank you for sharing your thoughts. Your courage and love are examples to EVERYone who sees this. Your son is so blessed to have so much love in his life. My two girls are adopted and their birth parents are always in my prayers and in my heart. Thank you.

  • I loved your story! 21 years ago, I was also blessed and honored to be a birth mother to a beautiful girl. I was 17, and terrified! I know that my Father in Heaven guided me to her family, and I have always known they were meant to be together. It was a closed adoption, but i got to pick the family, and the Spirit witnessed to me that i was chosen, if I was willing, in the pre-existence to bring her to earth to gain a body, and be reunited with her family. I hope many hear your story, and feel His love through you!

  • My only brother was adopted as a newborn. His birth-mother’s story was quite tragic (alcoholism, abuse) and I understand that she died quite young. I was 11 at the time, and ecstatic at this new arrival. I loved this tiny boy, and still do, 56 years later. We visit regularly. Our mother died just two weeks ago, aged 91. He had never felt any desire to find his birth-mother and was very secure with out parents. Truthfully, while we all knew he was adopted, it rarely occurred to us unless someone raised the subject.

    Our eldest daughter and her husband, parents of two beautiful girls, had tried for years to have another child, without success. Then, out of the blue, they were invited to apply to adopt a baby girl from interstate. But the birth-mother wanted wanted an open adoption, in which she could have involvement with her daughter. She was particularly keen for her to have a strong, loving, caring father.

    That was more than five years ago, and our 5-year-old granddaughter and her birth-mother are integral to our extended family. Both are loved and wanted. The birth-mother stays with our extended family a couple of times each year, and they all travel interstate to share the treasured little one with her other family — whose lives are now intertwined with our own.

    We’ve all been blessed immensely by adoption, and thank God for such a beautiful way to share and grow the love and family ties in such a wonderful way.

  • I placed my child for adoption almost two years ago. It was scary and so many emotions involved. Even today I have people that judge me saying I took the easy way out or that adoption is escaping my problems. I know that I did the right thing. The minute I chose to put her needs before my wants I was doing the right thing. I knew I couldn’t give her the life every child deserves. I didn’t want to worry about feeding her or her not getting the things she needs. When I met her mom and dad for the first time I knew they were perfect. My family instantly loved them. I never once regret the decision I made. It was probably the most mature decision I’ve ever made so far in life. Adoption is nothing easy or an escape. You live with it the rest of your lives. It’s a beautiful thing to be able to give your child the best life and to bless another family with that child. I encourage adoption and wouldn’t change my decision for the world.

  • I am the grandmother of two precious adopted little girls. From day one I have said that God created/formed both girls for my daughter and son-in-law specifically. Thanks for your testimony and confirming that same thought to me. My heart cried with you as I listened. What wisdom at 17 years of age! Thank you for the sacrifice you made to allow God’s will for you and your child’s adoptive parents. You blessed my heart.

  • I am a birth mother. I was 17 when I made the decision to place my son for adoption. I ended up marrying his birth father, 3 years after the adoption. We had 2 other children. We reunited with my son 5 years ago, when he was 17 years old. He lived with us for 4 years, and is a big part of our life. Although we can’t change the past, I wish I could. If only, I could have foreseen the many deep issues and consequences that have come from the choice of adoption. I will be writing a book one day, to explain how it affected my son in many negative ways, my husband, my other children, and myself. Young women need to have all the information, before making a life changing decision. Our son, wishes he had gotten to grow up with me as a single mom, or us as a couple, more than the life he had with good adoptive parents. Because we were his parents.

  • After keeping my daughter for approx five months I found that it was so hard on my heart. I went to the altar in church while I was pregnant and placed her in gods hands. Family convinced me to keep her but no one was there to help when she was born. I had such a heavy heart I new I had to do gods work and give her to the family that so much needed to be blessed with a beautiful little girl. It was rather strange because I never felt bad after. Of course I cried the first few days but always new in my heart that giving her to them was the right thing to do. She has her own beautiful family right now and I only have one wish and that would be to meet her in person. She has two beautiful children and I am so very happy for her. The lord gave me such a calm feeling in my heart and although life has been difficult I know that I have done one of the most blessed things in my life and that was to make sure she had the best life possible. Thank you god for giving me the chance to bless another family. Adoption is such an amazing experience. I could only hope that other girls/women could know that its never to late to make the most selfless decision ever and that is to give a child the chance to have a good life.

  • She looks like a crazy lady to me who is kidding herself. I bet after that interview she wanted to slap her self for letting go of such a blessing.

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  • Wow! I am speechless! You loved your child so much and gave her the best life possible with this family! Bless your heart! I love you all and have never met you! ❤️

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