In this day and age, technology is everywhere and in many ways it is invasive in the extreme. Yet it is not without its benefits for it allows us to connect, share information, and coordinate action as never before. To me, this technology is one of my greatest distractions. And as with all things, there comes a time when we must ask ourselves, at least in our own personal lives, what is it that we seek – and does this thing (in my case technology) aid us or distract us from our purposes in this world? Is this thing a useful tool in our lives, helping us to accomplish what we wish, or a distraction which pulls us regularly from the path of our dreams? Is it leading us towards the fulfillment of the intentions we have set or away from them?
Just as in matters of finance they say that our ‘necessary expenses will always grow to fit our income unless we protest to contrary,’ so too will our distractions always grow to fill our time unless we protest to the contrary. So how do we do this? How do we keep our lives simple so that we can focus upon the things that truly matter in our lives and that continually move us ever forward, be it imperceptibly at times, towards our goals?
It is a matter of constantly reminding ourselves, or of being reminded, of what our goals are. It is a matter of saying no to those things, people, activities, or events which demand our time against our better judgement. It is a matter of priorities. It is a matter of doing, as Stephen Covey says, “first things first and second things never.” What are the first things in your life? What are the things that matter? What are the daily actions that move you towards your goals? These are the questions I ask you now. Do the first things of your life matter more than the distractions and secondary things threatening to overwhelm you? What do you want? Meaning and purpose? Or distraction and discontent? It is your choice. It is all held within yourself. The power of your intention and your actions will determine your destiny.
I spent several years working at ANASAZI as a wilderness guide and I discovered that when life becomes simple we do what matters most, first things first. When life becomes complicated, and full of demands on our time, it is easy to do the infinite number of second things first. I get sucked into that all the time. We truly do have to protest to the contrary, and on an extremely regular basis, if we hope to maintain any semblance of order and progression towards those goals which matter in our lives. Even today, writing these words should have been the first thing on my list, but I did many other second things before starting to type. It is a part of life, and one that we can all improve upon.
There is a story that I am reminded of, shared widely these days, but one that I return to time and time again. It is about the importance we place on things, people, experiences, and actions in our lives and the order in which we fit them into our lives…
One day, an old professor of the School of Public Management in France, was invited to lecture on the topic of “Efficient Time Management” in front of a group of 15 executive managers representing the largest, most successful companies in America. The lecture was one in a series of 5 lectures conducted in one day, and the old professor was given 1 hr to lecture.
Standing in front of this group of elite managers, who were willing to write down every word that would come out of the famous professor’s mouth, the professor slowly met eyes with each manager, one by one, and finally said, “we are going to conduct an experiment”.
From under the table that stood between the professor and the listeners, the professor pulled out a big glass jar and gently placed it in front of him. Next, he pulled out from under the table a bag of stones, each the size of a tennis ball, and placed the stones one by one in the jar. He did so until there was no room to add another stone in the jar. Lifting his gaze to the managers, the professor asked, “Is the jar full?” The managers replied, “Yes”.
The professor paused for a moment, and replied, “Really?”
Once again, he reached under the table and pulled out a bag full of pebbles. Carefully, the professor poured the pebbles in and slightly rattled the jar, allowing the pebbles to slip through the larger stones, until they settled at the bottom. Again, the professor lifted his gaze to his audience and asked, “Is the jar full?”
At this point, the managers began to understand his intentions. One replied, “apparently not!”
“Correct”, replied the old professor, now pulling out a bag of sand from under the table. Cautiously, the professor poured the sand into the jar. The sand filled up the spaces between the stones and the pebbles.
Yet again, the professor asked, “Is the jar full?”
Without hesitation, the entire group of students replied in unison, “NO!”
“Correct”, replied the professor. And as was expected by the students, the professor reached for the pitcher of water that was on the table, and poured water in the jar until it was absolutely full. The professor now lifted his gaze once again and asked, “What great truth can we surmise from this experiment?”
With his thoughts on the lecture topic, one manager quickly replied, “We learn that as full as our schedules may appear, if we only increase our effort, it is always possible to add more meetings and tasks.”
“No”, replied the professor. The great truth that we can conclude from this experiment is:
If we don’t put all the larger stones in the jar first, we will never be able to fit all of them later.
The auditorium fell silent, as every manager processed the significance of the professor’s words in their entirety.
The old professor continued, “What are the large stones in your life? Health? Family? Friends? Your goals? Doing what you love? Fighting for a Cause? Taking time for yourself?”
What we must remember is that it is most important to include the lager stones in our lives, because if we don’t do so, we are likely to miss out on life altogether. If we give priority to the smaller things in life (pebbles & sand), our lives will be filled up with less important things, leaving little or no time for the things in our lives that are most important to us. Because of this, never forget to ask yourself,
What are the Large Stones in your Life? And once you identify them, be sure to put them first in your “Jar of Life”.
With a warm wave of his hand, the professor bid farewell to the managers, and slowly walked out of the room.
What are the big rocks in your life? What are the first things that matter most? Are you fitting them into your life now? Before you fit in all the secondary things? It is now February and the first month of this New Year is past. That doesn’t mean that we can’t have a new beginning again today. Every day is a new beginning and each day we can change our future by changing the sum of this day. By virtue of where we place our attention, and our time, we can alter the very makeup of our lives.
Today I invite you to set your intentions down on paper! Write down the big rocks and first things of your life and let all the secondary things fill the spaces in-between. Ask yourself what the distractions are in your life? How can you limit them to keep life simpler and thus do those first things first more often and get distracted by those secondary things less. Why not let those secondary things fill the spaces in-between?
What will come out on top; your distractions, or your intentions? You, or the secondary things of your life? Only you hold the answer to that question. May you choose wisely, begin anew, and walk forward in the faith of your intention…